


thinking about you (it hurts my chest)

by mxdvsx



Series: dancing with this ghost of yours [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt of fluff, Crushes, M/M, Pining Atsumu, attempt of angst, idk - Freeform, inspired by the surprising lack of sakuatsu fics, is this angst?, just a dumb boy in love, nothing much bros, pretentious sarcastic rambling, teen cause tsumu has a potty mouth (or mind)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23038936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxdvsx/pseuds/mxdvsx
Summary: the five times miya atsumu denies his crush on sakusa kiyoomi and the one time he accepts it.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, bokuaka if u squint
Series: dancing with this ghost of yours [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1655734
Comments: 18
Kudos: 598





	thinking about you (it hurts my chest)

**Author's Note:**

> the lack of sakuatsu fics is incredibly offensive.

1.

Miya Atsumu never pegged himself to be a pining moron.

But, well, life had other plans for him.

So, like, fuck you, life.

Honestly though, fuck Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Fuck him and his beautiful hair, and dark eyes and stupid, stupid yellow jacket. He hated his heart, he hated that it yearns for the germaphobe with stupid fashion senses that is Sakusa Kiyoomi.  
“Omi-kun!” Atsumu says as he sees Sakusa exiting his room.

“What.”

“Rude as ever aren’t ya?” Atsumu laughs, trying not to focus on the sunlight that glints into Sakusa’a eyes, showing the flecks of hazel in those midnight eyes. “Where’re you going this fine morning?”

Atsumu could already guess that the boy was going for a run, seeing as he had a (very, very, ugly) track jacket and sports leggings on.

But he wanted to make small talk with him anyways.

It wasn’t a crush.

Hopefully not.

He tried (and failed) not to notice the curve of Sakusa’s thighs showing itself from the leggings.

“Going for a run.”

With that, he went to the elevator, leaving Atsumu there, with his bag of forgotten onigiri. He quickly went into his room, his hand covering his face to hide his blush from everyone and everything because it was most definitely not a crush.  
__________  
(Miya Atsumu did not have crushes.  
Miya Atsumu does not pine.  
Especially not for pretty dark-haired boys with an attitude problem.)  
__________

2.

Sakasa Kiyoomi did not like being touched.

Atsumu knew.

Everyone in the team knew.

It didn’t stop Atsumu from waking up from a nightmare (dream) of Sakusa touching his face gently, tilting his head ever so slightly and pressing their lips together.

(Atsumu wakes up, Sakusa’s touch stinging his face.)

(He curses himself for wanting to go back to sleep.)

He wants what he can’t have, he tells himself. That’s all.

He knew it was impossible.

So why, why does his chest clench every time he imagines Sakusa hand on his, when the touch of his lips is forever scarred on Atsumu’s.

Why does his face burn every time Sakusa looks at him with those cold empty eyes of his?

He looks at Sakusa, hair damp from the shower. Atsumu feels his face heat up. Sakusa notices.

No, no, no, no, no. Shit.

No shit, Sherlock. ‘Samu’s voice says inside his head.

“Did you take a flu shot? Your face looks hot.”

“Really, Omi-kun? You think my face looks hot?”

“Ew.”

Atsumu gasps and clutches his chest.

Sakusa rolls his eyes and walks out of the changing room.

__________  
(In his dream, they touch like there is no tomorrow, feverish kisses and heated touches, and Atsumu swears he can still feel them on his skin.)  
__________

3.

“Hey, Omi-kun.” Atsumu greets.

Sakusa hums something that must’ve been a response, probably ‘get away from me’ or ‘did you wash your hands’.

They went down together, standing as far apart as the elevator would let them, Sakusa probably from disgust, and Atsumu from fear, and longing, lots of longing.

Wait no-

Miya Atsumu does not long or pine or crush.

That is unheard of and illegal. (Yes. Totally.)

But here he was, in an elevator with an unfairly beautiful boy and he has nothing he could do about it. Both of them were going for a morning run, judging by Sakusa’s clothes, they got to the bottom floor, when Atsumu blurts, “wanna run together, Omi-kun?”

“Did you shower?”

“Of course, I did! What did you take me for-”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Pretty sure that’s what I said, Miya.”

They jog around the park together, Atsumu teasing and picking a fight with Sakusa, and Sakusa rolling his eyes and making a snarky comeback occasionally.

__________  
(He wishes the run would last longer, he wishes he could talk to Sakusa forever.  
Inside, he hopes, one day, it would be more than friendly banter between teammates)  
__________

4.

“How’s life, ‘Tsumu?” His brother’s voice says from the phone.

“It’s great! Way better than yours ‘Samu.”

His brother sighs.

“How’s the team?”

“It’s good, today at practice, Sakusa did this weird thing with his wrists, not that they aren’t usually weird before, but it’s like, even weirder, you should’ve seen it ‘Samu, it went like ‘flick!’ and the ball was so sharp, it could slice someone, I swear.”

“How’s that crush on Sakusa going?”

“How’s the-what?”

“How’s your crush on Sakusa doing.” His brother repeats, stretching the words out like he’s talking to a toddler.

“What crush?”

“I hear how your tone changes when you talk about him, ‘Tsumu.”

“Haha. No.”

“Oh dear, was your fragile ego not ready for the fact that you could care for another human being? Sorry to break it to you, ‘Tsumu, it’s a crush, c-r-u-s-h, it means-hold on, let me search it up for that pea brain of yours-ah-a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate-certainly unattainable, this one you chose-”

Atsumu hangs up.

__________  
(It’s not a crush. It’s not a crush. It’s not a crush. It’s not a crush. It’s not a crush. It’s not a crush. It’s not a crush. It’s not a crush. It’s not a crush. It’s not a crush. It’s not a crush. It’s not a crush. It’s not a crush.)  
__________

5.

Miya Atsumu, would like to, once again, reaffirm that he does indeed hate Sakusa Kiyoomi.

He hates Sakusa Kiyoomi when Sakusa Kiyoomi is all covered up.

He hates Sakusa Kiyoomi when Sakusa Kiyoomi is in his Black Jackals uniform.

He hates Sakusa Kiyoomi when Sakusa Kiyoomi huffs at a joke Atsumu makes, he huffs behind his masks, probably thinking no one can hear it, but sadly (luckily) Atsumu has good hearing. He promptly ignores how much it reminds him of a kitten’s huff.

He hates Sakusa Kiyoomi when Sakusa Kiyoomi allows Atsumu to touch his shoulder during their (thankfully) constant morning runs (only after his washes it with the alcohol spray Sakusa always brings with him.)

(Not that he minds.)

(He finds it endearing.)

He hates Sakusa Kiyoomi when Sakusa Kiyoomi is a sweating mess after their game the Adlers, the sweat making his dark hair shine in the gymnasium light.

Yes, he definitely hates Sakusa Kiyoomi.

__________  
(He hates him, he tells himself. It’s hate, or just a major amount of dislike.  
It really isn’t.  
Atsumu knows he’s fucked but he falls anyways.)  
__________

+1

It was after their game with the Adlers. Sakusa was the first on the bus, taking the farthest back seat and sitting himself in the window seat.

Atsumu was second on the bus.

And of all the seat options he could choose, his body gravitates to the germophobic enigma known by the name Sakusa Kiyoomi. Sakusa raises an eyebrow and sprays Atsumu with alcohol, he’s too used to it too be offended. Sakusa leans back and closes his eyes.

The others trickled in, Atsumu getting weird looks because of his seating choice, but no one dared speak up about it.

Hours past as they ride home, and somewhere along the line, Sakusa falls asleep. His was head leaned against the window (which he sprayed alcohol on), pressing his curls, making Atsumu realize how soft they look, and making him realize how much he wants to touch them.

How much he wants to touch Sakusa.

A speed bump hits and suddenly Sakusa’s head was on his shoulder.

Maybe it’s the exhaustion.

Or maybe he’s getting bored of denying himself for so long.

So, he doesn’t push Sakusa away.

But instead, he leans back into his chair and falls asleep.

__________  
(It’s love.  
It’s most definitely love.  
Atsumu knows, and he doesn’t deny it.  
Maybe one day, he’ll find the courage to stop hiding it.  
But right now, not denying the fact to himself is good enough for him.)  
__________

++1

“Bokuto-kun, you really shouldn’t-”

“But Meian-san, look at them, Tsum-Tsum and Omi-kun sleeing on each other, it’s so cute, Akaashi will totally flip when he sees this, I think he already knows though, he’s really smart, did you know that? My boyfriend is the smartest!”

**Author's Note:**

> ducc = evil masterminds plotting ur death  
> !!! be warned !!!  
> ducc eViL  
> be scared bros, be very very scared  
> on another note, please kill me.  
> its so late.  
> i should be sleping  
> haha  
> sleping  
> oh no im losing it


End file.
